My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
