Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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