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• (765): View more from Indiana

  At least we don't have one night stands

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  True that. We sink our claws in our men.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  did you know it's going to storm tonight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

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• (954): View more from Florida

  in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.

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• (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.

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