he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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