your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.