I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
