i jhust puked up my retainher.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have fence marks all over my body