I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
