It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
