i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
