R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
