just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
