I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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