she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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