hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
