32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
