Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
