I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
