I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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