More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
