just tell him i said nine months
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
