Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
