I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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