You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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