I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
