When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
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being pregnant is like rehab
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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