Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
