Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
