Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
