We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im part way to drunk.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
