I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
