i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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