well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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