I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
