The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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