it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
