Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
