I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
