She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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