Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
