My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
