I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
