can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
