I just cut my nipple shaving
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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