What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize