I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
