watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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