Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
