I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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