Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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