I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I looked at my own cervix.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
