Someone shit on the floor
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
