Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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