how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
