she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
