perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
