so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just found puke in my bra..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
