Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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