They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize