Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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