just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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