Pappa wants mamma naked
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
