is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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