I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize