**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
