My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
