So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
