so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
